Skinny mini

Exams, hoes and diets.

2010-11-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

So. I have this friend, right. And he has this new girlfriend.
Who texts him EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
I'm hardly even kidding.
Every text further unravelling a tangled mess of ho-drama and teenage girl tantrums.
I actually want to punch her in the face it makes me so mad.
Fortunately, my diet is going well. Approaching 53kg soon. Yay me :3
But my exams are soon and I'm freaking out a little bit about my food intake.
I worry if I will be able to concentrate on such a low calorie diet.
I seriously hope I can. I need to get above a passing mark on these exams to regain my self worth.
Perfect mind, perfect body.
What everyone wants.
Question is - can I have it?

Bienvenue.

2010-11-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

Bonjour ma petite amies!
It's lovely to be back to blogging. I can already fell my mind fill with witty retorts and cynicism. I am currently 54 kg and restarting a 3 week plan for my formal (or as you Americans call it: "Prom") and I reckon it will go weel this time as I am wearing a lovely dress that I hope I'll look amazing in. Hopefull weighing 50kg or less :3
I'm a chronic lurker these days so i hardly ever post or comment on yo' blogs.
I really should do that more *sniff, cough*
I'm also dying of cancerAIDS (which is most likely a mild cold but I'm a hypochondriac so it has to be lethal)
I really have nothing much to say and I don't want to sound like I'm majorly depressed (which I obviously am) so I'll just stick to the short-non-self-pity posts.

I hope you're all feeling well xx

I'm back - take three.

2010-08-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

After a week or so of more binging I am down to 54kg.
I have 4 more to go before I can feel proud.
I've been reading A LOT of your blogs.
It's nice to know that most of you are still here.
We have all been through so much this past year.
Giving each other tips and support.
It's pretty fucking amazing that we have managed to last this long without offing ourselves with shovels.
Stay strong, stay happy and stay beautiful.
xx

Are you all okay? It has been far too long.

2010-08-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

After weeks of binge eating and hating myself I am finally back on track.
my current weight is 52kg. I'm currently aiming for 50 and then to 48.
This time around has just been so much easier. I don't even know why.
But I gotta say, losing 5kg really makes you feel much happier about yourself.
I can not wait for the Semptember break. I plan to get ridiculously tiny and pretty
I feel good. I know I have a way to go but all is fine.
I hope all of you re doing well. it has been far too long since I have checked up on you all.
Please stay strong and healthy. Don't forget your vitamins, ladies :)
xx

2010-07-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

I can't get any motivation. All I ever get are these empty compliments of "lyk omg but you're so thin"

I NEED someone to just bash the crap out of me verbally, you know? It never works otherwise.
ARGH.
Pretty picture for you.

OH HAI

2010-07-05T08:36:00.001-07:00

New goal of the week: to starve self to the point of fainting.
At least I have goals, fucked up or not...

WHAT THE FRAK?

2010-06-28T00:54:00.000-07:00

Massive drug bust at our school.
Some of my friends got involved.
i was questioned - but I don't do drugs?
"We heard you were going to buy off him..."
"yeah well not drugs. Alcohol. Wasn't for me anyway" - should have told them I'm afraid of the calories.
Would have believed me more.
It's fucked up, s'all I can say.
Feels weird.

2010-06-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

My father is having an affair.
It doesn't mean much to those who have never met me but I need to say it somewhere.
I called the woman. She picked up.
I hung up.

Just so you all know, I have been reading your blogs (and loving them!) I'm just not a great commenter.
You all keep me sane

xx love you all.

2010-06-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

At fifty five fucking kilos and hating my self every minute of it.
I can NOT stay like this.
I need strength.
This is for all you girls to happily say to yourselves
"I am thinner than this."
Be content with your achievement, for I am far from mine.

This is not good.

2010-06-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not enjoying being back at school. The tress of everything is just making me (more) insane.
I can't stand it.
The people are nice but yet I find myself becoming manic and anxious.
I think It's time I demand some kind of mild tranquilizer.
A shallow happy is better than a constant depression.
I'm already falling behind on the work load as by the time I'm out of school I'm just having a full blown panic attack.
It's time to get some real help I think.
We wouldn't want another hospitalization or something worse.
Over and out.
I hope you're all holding on.
xx

Omnomnom the taste of FAIL

2010-06-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

For the past 3 weeks instead of perfecting my starving skills, I was doing a brilliant job honing my fat skills.
Faaantastic.
Next 3 days will have to be water fasting. My face is hideously bloated and on Tuesday I'm having an encounter with a male friend.
Going to the movies. He knows I'm fairly fucked up but he's in no situation to judge. We get along well. Just be friends I think. I hate the idea of relationships in the same school, it really isn't a good idea.
I now fit into an AUS size 8 (which is U.S size 4).
I'm aiming to fit into a size 6(size 2). It is my goal for now. Who knows, maybe I'll get that size zero.
My self control is quite shameful I must admit. Just a bad patch.
I'm a bit disappointed as this was supposed to be my weightloss holiday. I just couldn't do it.
I'm going to have to face my classmates fat and gross.
Sucks for me.

Lazy bitch

2010-06-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

To the 3 people who can currently be assed to read my blog this post is for you. I'm too fucking lazy to post regularly so you're having to go weeks without my moaning and pissing about. I bought a scale. It measures body fat and shizz. It's one spiffy calculator. I have the body fat and muscle percentage of a man (10.7% fat and 68.8% other shit like muscle) I don't know whether to be proud or concerned of my depleted femininity. Oh well, I'm still 55kg which makes me pissy and annoyed. I got bored yesterday and ate a whole fucking pizza. Yet I still remain 55kg. School starts in 8 days and I'm still fat. This calls for immediate action.
I haven't been to sleep yet so it has made me grumpy. Plus I had a really disgusting coffee which makes me even more mad.
Dayum I'm a bitter bitch today. I just want to RANT RANT RANT.
Comments are greatly appreciated. it makes me feel like I talk to people as I have cut myself off from everyone else. Do help me keep my sanity.
Anyway, I'm off to watch twisted cartoons. I hope you're all emaciated and such. I know how happy I'd be if I were to be in such a condition.
Anyway, have a good day.
Au revoir!

Put your hands up?

2010-05-31T01:29:00.000-07:00

Today I managed to stay up until 6am and then sleep in until 5:49pm.
I think I deserve a medal.
Anyway, that was off topic.I need to buy a new pair of scales as I may have mentioned in an old, old post that my mother broke our other one. If i didn't well there you go, you now know.
The only upside of this sleeping is that I have not yet consumed a calorie.
Bad news? no exercise, no water/tea, no vitamins and wasting the day.
Hmm....

My drug of choice.

2010-05-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

Simply amazing. Full caffeine hit with only 105kj (25 cals or so for our American friends)
Feels good, man.

Well, well, well.

2010-05-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

For the next 3 weeks I really am going to try my hardest to lose as much weight as I can. more than 600 cals but less than 900, over 1 hour of exercise a day.
Sounds good?
I think so.

The oddities of daily life.

2010-05-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not really the most expressive person when blogging so for this post I might give it a try.
I'm pretty boring so here are 6 random, boring facts about me

1. I am completely and utterly addicted to the internet.
2. (Generally - not all) Girls between the age of 12-15 piss me off. Shut the fuck up about your Twilight and OMGs.
3. I am talented and smart but it all went to shit as I am a perpetual procrastinator.
4. Sharing my earphones with other people creeps me out - why the hell would I want someone else's earwax in my ears? No thank you.
5. My manipulation skills are intense. Though they can only be released in moments of extreme rage.
6. I'm scared all the time. I'm scared of expressing myself or allowing others to feel sorry for me - I hide behind my sarcasm.

A small bout of hopelessness inspired this post.
I think I'm coming down form a sugar high.
Aye, aye Captain!

Bitch.

2010-05-18T02:08:00.000-07:00

I was standing behind a girl at the traffic lights today. I swear that even the largest parts of her thighs were 2 inches apart.
I think I'm in love.

I swear this was what she looked like

P.S - no hatin' on the paint skills, yo?

Genuine crazy

2010-05-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Got my crazy certificate the other day
According to my GP and Psychologist I am clinically depressed and suffering from a severe anxiety disorder

Well isn't that just dandy! ^^

Good luck to everyone! xx

P.S - don't go batshit crazy.

.

2010-05-12T08:27:00.001-07:00

Every thinspo collection MUST contain the beautiful Abbey Lee.
That is all.

M.I.A + (not so)triumphant return.

2010-05-10T07:57:00.001-07:00

Ok. So I said I'd be back after 14lbs. I couldn't stay away. I've lost around 6 which is not bad but I'll probably gain it back within the week. Things have been rather shitty lately.
A) Got diagnosed with clinical depression after all these years.
B) Spent an...intimate time with a male friend (lets call him Jackjack) which was a BAD idea.
C) Got hospitalized after a self harm incident.
Things have been crazy. Work is going uncompleted due to being so depressed all the time (makes me just want to watch House and mope...not very constructive)
This causes trouble for Fatherperson, whom I love dearly. He's worried. This worries me.
I think I should become celibate. Or find other ways to avoid sexual encounters with friends. Makes awkward times the next day.
Good thing is I'm going to my doctor to get a checkup - going to beg her for meds. Might need to hide some weights in pockets due to rather "rapid" weightloss.
Strange thing is, I'm okay to admit my other problems to doctors and therapists, but never my ED.
I think it's just too personal. plus the fact my psychologist is obese - thus making me feel bad as I am only fat.
My bad.
It was nice to post again. I've been lurking on your blogs, not so much commenting.
I'm a boring fuck.

14lbs.

2010-04-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while because my insane fatness has gotten the best of me. I shalt not return until I weight at least 110lbs.
That means 14lbs to lose.
Can I do it? I think so.
Hope everybody else is doing well!

DO NOT WANT.

2010-04-12T19:13:00.000-07:00

Ultimate reverse thinspo.

Let me tell you a sad, sad story.

2010-04-06T04:34:00.001-07:00

Once there was a girl so thin all those around her would stare with envy. Her friends used to say things to her. They used to tell her to gain weight, that she wasn't healthy. All they were was jealous. All they wanted was their self esteem back. They didn't care for her health, all they cared about was her 107 pound frame - and how ugly it made them feel.
One day, she was called to the counsellors office. Her "friends" had told her they were concerned.
"Liv, your friends have been saying you starve yourself. They're worried about you." said Sandra, a fake concern furrowing her brow.
"Well, they're obviously wrong. I eat just fine." said the girl, lying through her teeth.
"They have never seen you eat."
"Yeah... Because the food in this school is disgusting. I eat heaps when I get home." The girl looked away, now becoming uncomfortable in her seat.
"Even your teachers have been saying you're distant and distracted. Do we have a problem here? Because I think we do. To be honest you look sick. I'm going to contact your parents and ask they take you to a doctor. Maybe I'm wrong, myabe you just have some kind of health issuse causing your thinness. Atleast this way you'll be able to get healthy again."

And from this is why I continue to struggle with my fat body. All because of my formerly jealous friends. Now all they can do is smile, knowing I'm just as fat as they are.

Here endeth the story.

Easter is the devil's holiday.

2010-04-05T04:45:00.000-07:00

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT. I hate easter. I mean I really hate it. I ate 600 grams of chocolate today. A total of 13500kj (something like 3000 cals). Excuse me while I go throw myself off a very high bridge.

Hypocritical.

2010-03-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

Now, if you're gonna purge in a public toilet - just make sure no ones in there with you.

Not very pleasant for the one completing work 2 stalls down from you.

Anyway, Having a binge day today. I feel like shit with my lack of energy and really want some sushi so fuck my progress. Down to 117 now... 'prolly gonna be back to 120 after today but I really don't care - I'm fucking starving.

Well actually I do but I find it's best to cut of feelings when you're binging so you don't feel like downing a whole pack of pills and washing them down with some tasty vodka.

SO yes, sushi and hershey bars it is.

nom nom.

Fast.

2010-03-17T04:31:00.000-07:00

I am going to go on a complete fast. This means the only things that will enter my mouth for the next 4 days will be gum, cigs, water and diet sodas.
I want to feel that complete and utter control. I haven't ever felt that. I need to feel ultimate, superior...... and thin.

I hope everything is going well for all of my 25 lovely followers.
May you all reach your goals and be thin and happy.

xoxo
Chester.

WHAT?!

2010-03-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

SINCE WHEN am I considered super skinny?? I was having a conversation with my new friend of FB last night and he just happened to say this.

The resolution of the pic is a little crappy but you'll get the gist of it.

Cigarettes.

2010-03-12T02:49:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I am quite a fan of them. i do wonder if my fellow 'rexis have them too, or just coffee?
Though a problem arises as i still live with my family and the smell is awfully hard to mask.
My intake today:
Diet coke.
Crispbread.
Eclipse gum.
Sushi.
Cigs.

And you?

xx

Sick.

2010-03-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

I'm currently sitting down in a toilet stall. "Why?" you may ask, it's because I've just been throwing up all my breakfast. The stupid fucking pancake binge of mine made me feel so crappy I just couldn't hold it in. I'm pretty sure I got rid of it all. I usually make it a rule not to stick my finger down my throat but today was my only exception. Though now I feel equally as crappy. Maybe I'll wait a while before I go to English.

I hope everyone is doing well because I am certainly not.

Help I'm alive

2010-03-02T00:43:00.000-08:00

Just went to the supermarket with Motherbeast. I hated every second of it. Not only is it hard to ignore the siren call of the calories screaming out for you aand telling you to take them home but I also had to deal with her crude comments. I swear I was *this* close to matricide.
Someone hand me some zoloft. For everyone's sake.

It's what friends are for.

2010-03-01T00:20:00.000-08:00

When discussing my depression and how one of my new friends might have caught on.... this is how it went. It's a good thing we both know how to handle new friendships.

I say:
I was all "Bah! me depressed. pffft"

Grace says:
ah

Grace says:
lies

Grace says:

I say:
Well I haven't known him for long enough to say "I fucking hate everything! I don't get any love from my family, everything I do fails and I am A FUCKING FAT COW so YES I AM fucking depressed!!" so lying was the more appropriate option

Grace says:
pretty much

Grace says:
not really something you want to load off onto a new friendship

I say:
exactly

Failure.

2010-02-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

It seems that I'm ever the only one gaining hideous amounts of weight. I hate it. Why do I have to keep eating and be so fucking fat? I really am disgusting. I bought diet pills to hopefully motivate myself. It didn't work.
my thighs are huge and my stomach protrudes. I used to seek solice in the fact that I was an hourglass figure. Now I'm just a big mass of fat.
Everyhting is just feeling like shit. It has to get better. I hope it gets better.

Pizza. Please convince me not to have it.

2010-02-17T14:58:00.000-08:00

Pizza - I am going to eat some :)

I suggest you do too. Breaking a fast always gives me a rush (followed by wallowing in self pity but that is not the point!)

Please ladies, with in the next 2 hours convince me not to have it? I will love you forever *bats lashes*

Fuck food up the ass with something hard and sand papery.

2010-02-12T03:49:00.000-08:00

I got down to 117lbs. but now I have shot up to 124!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!
I am NEVER going to eat properly again. I feel like a fat slob. I can feel my thighs hit together when I walk. Eurgh.
And watching 90210 isn't helping. I only like thinspo when i know I'm getting thinner.

Jessica Stroup is amazing.
I literally would kill to look like that.

that is all.
Au revoir~!

xx

To eat or not to eat

2010-02-01T00:30:00.000-08:00

Ok. I am REALLY hungry. Motherbeast has made me a vegetarian polenta stack that looks fantastic. I also know for a fact it tastes amazing. I don't know what to do. I can either a) throw away all my hard work for one meal or I can b) be a good little ano.

Hmm.... it's a pretty fucking hard decision.

Not really thinking ahead...FML

2010-01-29T23:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I walked to the supermarket to buy a large 18 pack of coke. Suddenly realising I had to walk back another 2km or so carrying said 18 pack - I did it anyway and ended up vomiting on the sidewalk due to exertion. Never again will this ana do so much exercise. FML

no. No. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

2010-01-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

I ate 6 pieces of pesto pasta!!!!
I mean seriously, do I want to eat all the excess calories contained in oil, cheese and white pasta?
I would purge but I really suck at it and I would rathe rnot have a perforated esophagus.

maybe a liquid fast... sounds good 8)

that is all.

I have 9 days until school - weighloss tips from fellow skinnies-to-be?

2010-01-25T04:32:00.000-08:00

I had to go to the doctor's a few days ago and get weighed. She noticed that I had lost a lot of weight since my last visit and alerted my parents. I just had to lie and say that I have been sleeping too much and forgetting to eat. They believed it but it didn't stop them form feeding me for the past 3 days.

I am now back to 121lbs. Shame, I was looking good for a while.
So that means I have just over a week to lose 6 lbs which might be a problem.

*Note to self - get a tan, you will look much thinner
I am currently this shade ----->

Binge like you have never binged before

2010-01-15T02:09:00.001-08:00

I love food. There is no denying it. Currently I can only starve myself for 5 days in a row. I have to do better if I'm going to be skinny in time for school. I actually think I can do it. I have about 2 weeks and I reckon I can lose atleast 6 pounds before then. I hope my blog keeps me honest.

P.S - Due to the lack of motivation to go out I have become obsessed with the PS3.

Swimming?

2010-01-11T21:56:00.001-08:00

I almost died at the pool today. I did laps for about 2 hours but I didn't eat enough so I felt like crap. Exercise is weird.
I also did some pushups and weights lastnight so I'm in pain but all shall be well within a few days.
My very skinny, tall friend wants to go to the moives or soemthing. So I said I was out of town until sundray but probably won't want to go out until Tuesday *is a dirty liar*.
I lie to my friends to much. I should just say "Fuck you all, I'm too fat to be seen in public!"
That would either make them shut the fuck up or would cause all that compliment shit. I hate compliments. I only want compliments when I'm atleast 122lbs. Hah.

Anyway, rant over.

Tata
xx

Social lockdown.

2010-01-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of enjoying this "no going out until you have lost atleast 6 pounds" thing. I mean, yeah it can be as boring as shit but I have enough video games to last me forever. Plus I think i'm now pretty pro at COD.
Though this time I'm making sure that I abide by common self hygene rules. Otherwise this could get pretty gross.
Well that is all for now. I think I'm going to go make som exceptionly strong green tea.

Au revoir.

Rainbow diet.

2010-01-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

I decided to go on this extreme low calorie diet called "The Rainbow Diet"
It's basically just starving yourself only you can only eat fruits of a certain colour each day. There is a fast in the middle of it. Sounds like fun
Hope it works because I can now grab a handful of fat from my stomach.
HMPH.
Skinny in time for school? I hope so.

Drunken Stupors.

2010-01-05T22:27:00.000-08:00

Last night I went out with my closest friend. I hardly remember any of it except that I know I threw up outside someone's house*, threw an empty beer bottle into my ex's yard and smoked. I also remember that previous to this great binge me and her retraced her steps because a joint fell out of her pocket (no, we're not scummers AT ALL).
I need to vomit my guts out again but I don't think I will.

Here's to a better tomorrow xx

byebye.

*Sorry

Random question to all you starvers out there:

2010-01-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

What is the largest amount of weight you've lost in one month? What did you eat?
Please answer for the benefit of general curiousity 8)
Just answer with a comment if You can be bothered

Ah emotional eating - How I have not missed you.

2010-01-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

Skinnyboy broke up with me yesterday because he was sick of my "antics".
To him chasing down some premium vodka with a pill is self harm. To me it qualifies as infrequent fun.
I'm not sad about the actual break up - just the argument that entailed after it.
Ah well, This means I can get fat[ter] for a couple of days. Just get it all out of my system.
Okiedokie. That is my little insight for now.

Over and out.

P.S - He was ugly anyway.
Hah.

xx

Happy new years!

2009-12-31T23:08:00.000-08:00

This year I have decided to inflict on myself the cliché known as "new year's resolutions".
Mine for the year are:
Starve. Get down to my new goal of 106lbs
Break up with Superskinnyboy - he is just a reminder of how much of a failure I am.
Get a social life.

Two out of the three here seem to be well.....impossible? Bah. Self control is something I need to learn. Same goes for the art of the one day binge. Mine always seem to go on for at least seven.

I hope everybody has a great new year :)

xx

Happy holidays bitches!

2009-12-26T03:11:00.000-08:00

Now weighing at a steady 55kg I feel like a fat cow :D
Time to drop all this flab starting tomorrow. It's gonna be hard but I know I can do it.
I had a nice week long binge but now it is time to start again.
Fast for a week! I know I can do it. Also, becuase I have no life I'll probably be posting a few time a day. Takes up time and I'll stop thinking about food so much.

I currently have hay fever and I am leaking EVERYWHERE.

Over and out.

xx

Motherbeast.

2009-12-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

Ok. During the holidays my family tends to seriously piss me off. I don't know if it is the repeated questions, all of their so called "stress" from buying gingerbread houses or just their constant annoyance that pisses me off.
Anyway, due to my annoyance, I decided to snap a shot (at my own peril) of the Motherbeast.
I find the result fairly amusing.

I got chased with with a spoon after this.

Hollow cheeked? Who...ME?

2009-12-21T04:20:00.000-08:00

Today I was told by my obese mother that I was hollow cheeked.
I guess I am?

P.S - I apologise for the wonkyness of my eyes, my oddly shaped eyebrows and my hair here - I feel very sleep deprived and I get lazy about personal appearence when I don't go out.

Ambien - I am never taking this shit again.

2009-12-20T18:06:00.000-08:00

Well.
I am an insomniac. I hardly sleep. So I decided to start on ambien about a week ago. I have no idea what I get up to but this is some evidence.
Yesterday, I thought "oh what a lovely day to do some landscape art" and came across this:
I change my original post. Make it "a posessed 5 year old ON CRACK.

That is all.

Binges. Fun is always had.

2009-12-20T01:21:00.000-08:00

When I'm not starving, I eat like a fat man on death row.
I guess I'll just cope with the weight gain and then just go back to starving again tomorrow :)
I really don't feel all that bad about it. I had a good week of hardly eating. Everything is smaller :)

Everything is going to bloat but I can deal. It's not that difficult.
I feel more normal now. My thinking is more sane now that I have eaten.
I forgot to add that lastnight I did some drawing under the influence of ambien. It looks like it's been done by a posessed 5 year old. Pretty funny shit.

`
The only thing that is annoying me about my binge is how full I am!
List of food eaten:
mayo and ham sandwich
kitkat
terriyaki beef ( cooked with fat...lots of it)
2 glasses of milk - one with chocolate flavouring
5 dove promises (caramel centred chocolate)
about 10-12 maltesers.

Epic fail :)

xx

RAWR.

2009-12-19T18:18:00.000-08:00

Okay. It is only 1:21pm here in Australia and I am disgusted with myself because I ate:
Bowl of cereal - 660 kilojoules (yeah that's right, i can't be fucked calculating it into calories)

2 eggs - 535 kj
and I C/S some fatty ham. I don't know how much went down but I am a little worried.

A total of 995 kilojoules. (<300 cals)
I still feel like a fatty/

Dying.

2009-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

Shallow breaths.
God I feel so awful. I literally feel like I am dying. Maybe I am.
Hah. I overreact to everything. I'm sure I'll be fine soon.
I feel bloated. Though I don't think I am since I had <400 cals or so.
People bought tiramisu today. It took a lot to restrain from eating some. I also know that people have bought a gingerbread house for christmas. It's as if they know all my weaknesses.
I'm going to have to look for excuses not to eat it. Which will be difficult.
I'm pretty ok for the actual christmas lunch. I never eat much at them anyway.

I don't know what people will say about my slimmer frame. I hope people are ok with it. I like how my collar bones are sticking out.
I'm still scared though. I don't want to get so unbelievably thin because I know people die easily from anorexia. I hope I'm not one of them.
I still need to find a long termoption for keeping weight off. I think a once a week binge should do the trick.

I hope.

Hungry.

2009-12-19T00:12:00.000-08:00

I. Am. Hungry.
I mean, officially.
And we're having pasta for dinner! Why must Fatherperson remember my favourite foods. GRR. I am no longer dying from caffeine consumption which is just splendid.
Due to the fact of Motherbeast being so grossly overweight; we have no scales. So i can only estimate how much I weigh. I think I weigh somewhere close to 118lbs but I have no clue. My ideal is to get down to about 108 so 10lbs to go ><
I'm chewing on my earphones again. This means I am reeeeeeeeeeeeeally hungry and bored.

I went for a scooter ride today. I almost died from exhaustion. But since then I have had a couple of rice crackers and peppermint tea. Hoorah.

As you can tell I really don't have much to say. It's because I don't go out anymore or see anyone. I don't know what to do about Superskinnyboy. I'm bored. 3 months is too long for someone like me. I don't like relationships >=(

Anyway. I have nothing left to say so I think I'll piss off.

BYEBYE
xox

Urgh.

2009-12-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

I feel like complete, utter shit.
I have absolutely no energy and I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing caffiene overdose. Headaches suck fuck.

Holidays are finally here - giving me the oppurtunity to lose weight out of the eyes of my friends. I think being around people makes it harder to diet.

I seem to be lacking my usual cynicism. Must be due to HOW CRAP I FEEL. Oh well. I guess I will get over it. Though I need to go to the toilet every five minutes. I think my abs will look amazing.

I feel like a vegetable.

uurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And no, I am not under the influence of anything.

I'm depressed that i no longer have my school laptop. It had all my awesome thinspo pics. I can't keep thinspo on the family laptop which is another gay factor. Guess I'll just have to rely on all my magazine cut outs haha.

I haven't seen/talked to Superskinnyboy for a few days. I think I'll let him see me when the results of my weightloss will actually show.
Is it just me or did that not make sense?
Damn my headache and it's effect on my grammar.

Well I am off. I can't be bothered writing more.

P.S - I need a new bra

Awww... He flatters me so

2009-12-02T02:46:00.000-08:00

Today, I was talking to Superskinnyboy over meebo. Somewhere along the line the conversation went like this:

21:26] Fat bastard: No, fat people are funny
[21:26] Austin Powers: And you call me a meanie!
[21:26] Austin Powers:
[21:26] Austin Powers: And you aren't fat!!
[21:27] Fat bastard: you can say it ooooover and oooover but I won't listen. I'm stubborn too
[21:27] Austin Powers: I have noticed
[21:29] Fat bastard: you'll lose. I'll grab my fat and show you. then you'll be wrong
[21:30] Austin Powers: Bah. It's not like your so fat, when I hug you, your fat overwhelms me and engulfs me
[21:30] Fat bastard: it's close to that though
Soon I'll reach the PNR

There was more to it at the start but my internet was being a fag munch and made me sign out. The rest was pretty funny.
THough never in the whole thing did he say i was skinny.
I guess I'll take that as a hint: "LOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT BITCH"
Good enough motivation for me.
I leave you imaginary readers with a picture from my private thinspo collection
enjoy.
inn' she preeeeeeetty?
Ah well
I'm off imaginary motherfuckers.
xx

Hungry - part 1

2009-12-01T00:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I had a bit of a binge fest that lasted about a a week and a half which made me too ashamed to post anything haha. I have lost 2 pounds which is pretty fucking amazing for how much I have eaten. I still feel like a fat pig but things could be worse....I think.

I have been having some fun with Superskinnyboy recently so that's good. I don't have any pictures of him currently but he is the skinniest thing I have seen in person. I must upload some when he can muster the self esteem to let me take a picture. I don't see why he has any insecurities at all. He's fucking skinny and muscular.

Due to recent events, I am now being forced to go see a therapist - I shall dub thee Fatman. I get to vent to him about Motherbeast and how much she fucking hates me. It's good times.
I've restarted my starv- I mean "dieting" but it sucks ass because I hatve to get and pee every ten minutes (note to self: 3 litres of water is not a good idea).
Foods I currently crave:
Chocolate
Spaghetti bolognase (Fatherperson is cooking it...must...resist...temptation...)
It seriously sucks fuck tomorrow because I have to go on an excursion to a french bakery and have breakfast. I mean, my meal costs $14.00, all of which I now no longer want to eat but I will actually have to eat a part of it due to the fact I will be there with 13 other members of my class. EDs are bitches.

I have a pool party (shit. This means swimsuits. I will look like a beached whale) coming up on Sunday so I'm hoping to have lost 6 pounds by then. Desperately hoping.

Well that i sall I have for now, nothing exciting has really happened so there isn't much to post about. Hope more comes up soon.

Until then, goodbye readers who do not exist.
xfuckingx

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

2009-11-17T17:36:00.000-08:00

Day 3 - Unexpected Sick day.
Today i woke up much earlier than usual - my pulse racing. I know this means it's working o.o
wo0t :D
So, I decided to have 40 grams of sugarfree candy, chewing gum and a red bell pepper to get my energy up a bit. It worked briefly but then I started to feel a bit sick. Trying to become more involved student again - I went to school anyway. I didn't even make it to first period before I threw up into a baggie (unfortunately I was leaning over too far and kind of threw up into my nose a little). I love illness. You can stay away from school, work, people and just avoid the rest of the world. Plus I have been feeling too gross to even want anything in the fridge.

Though while I was in the sickbay at school, Superskinnyboy came in complaining of dizziness and fatigue. WHAT A PUSSY. I can go 4 days without any food and he can't last from breakfast. He now has to go to therapy because the doctor is convinced that him not eating much is self harm. He's not that fucking depressed - he just complains a lot.

Mother gave me a lecture in the car about how I'm sick so often and that I mostly fake it (Fact: I get sick a lot and hardly ever fake it). And then she somehow got on to the topic of eating disorders and that "If you're not careful you will get one." Little bit fucking late you dumb bitch.

Though this day of lying in bed has been most satisfying - even though I'm supposed to be doing overdue work. Just chilling and talking to Superskinnyboy has been good times.

That is all I have for now.

Tataxx

P.S - I'm wearing shorts in bed. I don't know why.

I like rhinoceroses

2009-11-16T23:55:00.000-08:00

Day 2 of new eating plan
Height: 5'6
Current weight: 120 lbs (ARGH)
Current measurements - Waist-25"(blergh), Hips- 36" (EW), Bust - 34- and a fucking Dcup (meh.)

Joy is me. I have had no solid food today and I have survived off sugar free gum and sugar free red bull. I hope I can keep this up for a while. Superskinnyboy - my current boyfriend, told me today that what I have been eating today is "ridiculous". Very, VERY hypocritical coming from him as he didn't eat anything all fucking day. No wonder Superskinnyboy only weighs 13 more pounds than me when he's 6'2. RAWR. Plus he has no body fat so he looks like an anorexic child.

14 lbs to lose before I can start to feel happy again. I guess this means my school work with be seriously fucked up but meh, I really don't care much. I'd rather be skinny and spaced than fat with good marks.
Now i just have to get through dinner without eating anything. I love being able to eat in my room. I'm pretty sure I'm having pasta so i'll pass.

<----wouldn't it be lovely to look like this?